I think most New Yorkers are familiar with the story that has gripped the headlines over the past two days. I read this article in the Post today and was overwhelmed with an uneasy feeling. I would never want to assume any details of what Sarah's relationship was like, but the few written details are eerily similar to the abusive relationship I endured.
All of the articles describe Raul Barrera as a stylish, popular, smooth talking, ladies man that people were charmed by. I can remember going out with my abuser and was hurt and baffled by the fact that everyone loved him. I just wanted them to see the other side when they were not around. I had flashbacks throughout the day today of running, but not running fast enough. His arms seemed to be able to reach me at any distance and would wrap around me like an anaconda strangling it's prey. I remember the endless fights that literally lasted for hours until my own voice to myself was shut out. The police were called during one such fight. The two male officers looked on as my abuser held my hands behind my back. I remember hiding my tears in his shoulder as he assured them everything was ok. My heart sank as they simply took his word for it and left.
Some articles have mentioned a history of violence and domestic abuse in his past and in his relationship with Sarah. If you put the four of us in a photo line up, we would look like the perfect match to play each other in a film. I always knew the deep untamed violence that lived within my abuser, but I was lucky enough that when the law stepped in I was ready to leave the relationship forever.
I feel so blessed that I never had to face a death so horrific it makes you feel sick to even think about. I can't imagine the thoughts that Sarah was thinking as she lay dying, after her lover/killer left her for dead. I have seen the cold blank stare in the eyes of a man who is acting, but not thinking. I honestly was never so terrified because at that point they are not in control of their body. No words will connect in their head, no matter how much you yell and plead.
An abusive relationship can escalate so quickly. The abuser is like a ticking time bomb, which makes organizations like SAVI that much more important. I read that her family was going to help her move out on the Sunday she was killed. This story validates my feelings about the work that Scorpio and I do and how much more work needs to be done.
My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is grieving for Sarah Coit.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/killer_charm_N4fRhl9rEy43nscdnotFJM
*Aries*
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