Yesterday my old fuck buddy called me. We knew each other for a year, and I reluctantly ended things with him once I became serious with Jason. I say reluctantly only because it was the greatest casual relationship ever. We treated each other well, calling occasionally just to chat, and he was always respectful. Plus, the sex was insane. I actually had to have my best friend on the other phone with me while I ended things with him, for moral support. As much as people say that women can’t have sex without feelings – I disagree. And I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. He and I would have a great time together and then I would go about my life, not really thinking about him for a week at a time. It was empowering, it was freeing, it was a release. I have no regrets.
When he called, we caught up a bit. It’s been a few months since we talked and it was nice to hear how he was doing. But then the conversation took an unanticipated turn. We were talking about my boyfriend and our summer plans, when he interrupted.
“You know, with us, it was just timing. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. It doesn’t surprise me that a guy locked you down. You’re such a great girl… I know I’m going to regret losing you. I kind of already do.”
I was speechless. Where was this coming from?? It isn’t often that you have a casual sex relationship with a man that leads to HIM wanting more. I was always 100% satisfied with the nature of our relationship, but I had noticed he had dropped hints about wanting more. I just ignored them, thinking nothing of it.
I had dinner with my girlfriends last night at Waverly Inn and we were discussing the exchange. We all burst out laughing at the irony of it - men only want more when you don’t care. On top of that, we realized it always takes men a few months to resurface. Women have more of an on/off switch. Men seem to secretly pine.
On the phone, he asked me for a lunch, somewhere public. He promised that from now on, we were just friends & he would control himself, so I agreed. I mentioned I have a bit of a tall, blonde panoply of girlfriends, and he told me that a lot of his fun-loving Aussie boys are now in the city. We made a plan to have a big, fun, platonic night out. Well, he & I will be friends… it remains to be seen what happens between our groups.
I ask you – can fuck buddies be friends? Or am I playing with fire?
*scorpio*
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