THE FLU

I am glad Scorpio has been busy and entertaining our readers because I have been cocooned in my new silk down comforter since Sunday night. Of coarse this lovely and extremely expensive duvet cover has now endured hours of feverish chills and night sweats. I have been confined to my "layer" by THE FLU, the real deal that they warn you to get shots for. The last time I recall being this sick was back in the 5th grade. I noticed myself longing for my mom to appear with fried egg on toast, Advil, Gatorade, anything. Instead, I realized a big downside to being single is not having anyone really have your best interest in mind. I was so weak it took me 4 hours

to will myself out of bed to walk half a block to get more water and juices. Luckily, there is Seamlessweb.com. Like a true New Yorker, I have been ordering in all meals.

My one big adventure out of bed was to get to the doctor's office, the day AFTER a giant snowstorm! I was literally climbing snow banks just to get to the end of my block.

The few cars that were on the roads ended up gliding on the ice and snow. I had to get from the West Village to the Upper East Side by foot and subway, when I barely had the strength to stand for 5 minutes. I had to kneel on the subway platform twice because I felt like I was going to faint. I reflected on the book I was reading Even Silence Has An End by Ingrid Betancourt, where Ingrid reveals her mental strength and anguish towards her physical surroundings. Obviously, walking to the doctor's office in the snow is not the same as being held in the jungle for 6 years, but in the grips of a severe flu any movements can feel like your life or death. I was really put to the test when they told me I had to walk 12 more blocks (the long ones) to get an x-ray. I was suddenly thankful that my parents never took me up north as a child. I was walking in a winter wonderland with disgust, even sneering at a snowman that someone built in the middle of Park Avenue.

I finally made it home and collapsed in my bed, where I remain still (2 days later). I took pictures out of boredom waiting for my prescription at Rite Aid. I usually go to Duane Reade, but couldn't walk that far. I had to sit in the store for 45 minutes because I knew if I left I wouldn't be able to walk back. So I picked up a few items that actually sounded good (Lucky Charms, Twizzlers, Goldfish) and winced at the smooth jazz that buzzed in the speakers above my head. I can still relive the moment like a flu flashback....me bundled in a down coat staring blankly thru my massive shades, sitting in a sad little pharmacy "waiting room". The BeeGees were squealing their way thru some song about emotions while I entertained myself by looking at Christmas wrapping paper, that was now 90% off, and an employee fighting to stock the Valentine's Day candy. That was really the only outside action I can share from my week (depressing).

I am finally feeling the light at the end of this miserable germ ridden tunnel. I just missed a week full of opportunity. I had something important to do every night of this week, but that was probably my downfall to catching the flu in the first place. I have been going out every night without eating due to stress. At this point I could be 10 pounds lighter? So it caught up to me and my body basically took a mandatory vacation from my damaging ways. Lesson learned, although I have been cooped up for so long that in my excitement for socializing I have already started filling up next week.

*Aries*

On Caipirinhas & Chemistry

Last night was the season premiere of Archer, my all time favorite (scratch that, only) adult cartoon. And yet, I sacrificed watching it to go out on my third date with Johan. Totally worth it.

We met at a Brazilian restaurant called Berimbau in my neighboorhood. I heard they had great caipirinhas, and I wanted a quiet place where we could hang out and not feel rushed. It was perfect really, because we were one of three couples in there.

Every time I see him, I am surprised to see how cute he is. That doesn't mean he's not handsome (he is!), but his mannerisms and personality just make him really ... adorable? Endearing? I'm hunting for a non-emasculating word here, and falling short. Anyway, we spent the first two hours laughing and trading witty quips. We spent the next hour talking about healthcare reform and our educational system, and the differences between them in Sweden & America. The last hour of our four-hour dinner was spent discussing our ideal last meal if we were on death row, our favorite movie, and golf. I say 'our' because (again!) we like the exact same things for the exact same reasons.

At one point, he leaned over the table and said, "You know, it would be so much fun to read the NY Times with you and discuss it. I really like hearing your perspective." If you know me at all, you know I have been dying to hear those words since my first relationship. Instead, I usually got, "You think too much." Cue: death rattle.

We hopped through the snow to Vbar for a glass of wine and more intimate conversation. We entwined our legs at a table in the back and Googled our signs to see if we were compatible. Turns out, Cancer & Scorpio are like, the perfect match. We're supposed to compliment each other's weaknesses quite well. I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of awkward to be reading about your sign's awesome compatibility while on a date; I definitely blushed, and we were both smiling as we pointed to traits we thought we embodied.

He finally put his hands on my legs (first time, ever!) and kissed me right there in the bar. We were leaning so close to each other, we were practically cheek to cheek. He whispered that I smelled amazing... and his scent was so intoxicating it was hard to not get lost in his neck. I could just feel the heat between us, and yet we only kissed briefly once or twice. It was kind of torture, but also kind of great to just enjoy those exquisite moments of being so close, and... wanting.

*scorpio*

Overkill

At a certain point yesterday, I realized I'd gone over capacity and into the world of diminishing returns. Luke called me asking for a date this weekend (this baby shower is really getting in the way of my dating life!) When I told him I was out of town, he asked me out for tomorrow night... but I was busy. Then he asked about tonight... I was busy. I said, "I really do want to see you again, how's early next week?" Then I realized, I am booked through Wednesday of next week!

Jason, on Tuesday, asked me to come over on Friday to sample his French cooking. I said I would try, only before realizing that I can't exactly cut and run on my date midway through the meal.

I had two dates last night because Johan wanted to see me this week - double booking in a snowstorm is NOT recommended.

I've realized, I'm turning down dates with the guys I really want to see (the three above) for guys I don't even know yet (the two below). This is crazy! I end up spending those dates thinking about the guys I want to see & I am no longer able to have the same stat-sharing first date convo any longer. I felt like I was totally phoning it in on the second of my two dates last night... not good for anyone, and it certainly doesn't make me feel like a good person.

I have some rather difficult phone calls ahead of me...

But on to the dates!

The first one, at 6:30 was Daniel. I actually met him in person (imagine that!) and he tracked me down via Facebook. After friending me, he asked for a date, which I finally got around to making last week. I met him at Reuion Surf Bar for some insanely delicious apps (try the fish tacos, otherworldly I swear!) It was fun to be in a surf bar during a snowstorm, and he turned out to be a rather charming date. He produces television - think Amish documentaries and reality TV. It was definitely fun, and he certainly has some imaginative ideas: corn maze, anyone? Plus, he's quite tall. I'm just not sure if the attraction is there for me.

Then I dashed off in the snow to the second date, Andrew, at Monday Room. When I got out of the delayed subway, I got a call from SAVI telling me that I was on-call tonight. I told the woman that I was called in on Monday and that we all only work once or twice a month, tops. I'm on the phone with her as I'm walking to the date, and of course by the time I get there I am totally frazzled. I have to make a series of phone calls to figure out why I am on the list and if in fact I have to go in, while he waits patiently. I felt so badly about being rude, but I didn't want to ignore my responsibilities. Turns out, I was right and didn't need to go in. Still, not a great first impression.

We sat down to a dirty martini - but before we did I noticed that while he said he was 6'2", he was actually, maybe 5'10". What is going on!??? It's like, they lie about their height no matter what? I'm now patently refusing to date anyone under 6'4". Still, he was quite attractive and obviously very successful, but I was exhausted and ended up barely bringing my B game. Poor guy. We left about an hour later and the entire street was different... covered in snow, and totally quiet. We walked in the freezing snow for a while before he gallantly chased down a cab for us. I thanked him for the martini and the ride, but I doubt he'll be calling me again!

When I got home, I texted with Luke about his show - which apparently was only a block from my house. I found myself once again wishing I weren't wasting my time when my heart is obviously already preoccupied!

*scorpio*

Get Me To The Greek

Last night was my third date with Jason. He'd just returned from Sundance, and it kind of felt like he was gone for too long - even though it was only a week.

He picked me up at 7 and we drove to Astoria, to have a night of Greek culture. First, we checked out a Greek Orthodox church (where I learned all about the Catholic/Greek Orthodox schizm of 300 AD). Then we popped into a local Greek shop and taste tested different olives while he spoke Greek with the owners. I even learned a new word: Kalinixta (pronounced Kal - lee -NEE - hta). It means 'Good Night'. I learned a few others, but I don't have his aptitude for language and promptly forgot them. So 'learned' is a relative term.

Then we sat down to an incredible Greek dinner at this super-packed restaurant called Kuklades, where he picked a bunch of things off the menu and surprised me. We started with Saganaki-Tiri, this awesome baked cheese with lemon (so freaking good!). Then we had Htapothi sti Skhara, which is grilled octopus with cucumber... I was a little nervous to try it, but it was quite good, not at all chewy like it is in sushi restaurants. We finished up with Garides Santorini, which is grilled shrimp in tomato and feta. Of course, there was also pita and tzatziki.

We lingered over the food for three hours (until we were the last people there!), talking about our families, travels, and relationship issues. Since he's the son of therapists, he's able to really express himself emotionally - something I'm not used to in a partner. As a result, we end up having these really honest and compelling conversations. I told him about my fear of commitment and proclivity towards dating the emotionally crippled. He said he did the same thing - and then we analyzed why. To some people that might be like having a root canal, but it's so fun for us... and so refreshing. He ends up expanding my mind in so many ways. And he said that he loves that I am not in his field, and can teach him new things about the fashion world. I started talking about the couture exhibit at the Met and how it was my all-time favorite. He asked when it was, and when I said April, he didn't skip a beat when he said, "Great, we should go! I would love to see that with you."

In the car on the way home, he mentioned that he'll be in town this weekend, puppy sitting for a friend. Since our big problem is where we can go to be alone together, this seems like a great opportunity. (Plus, he said he'd cook me French food!!) Unfortunately, due to my insane dating schedule, I am busy on Friday night. Still, I'm seriously tempted. I told him I would be over for dessert... he's making ramequins fondantes au chocolat. In the morning, he'll drive me to my car so I can begin the roadtrip with my girlfriends up to Boston.

I'm a lucky girl.

*scorpio*

Half-Life

"You know you're in a gay relationship when you meet, date, hookup and breakup in less than a week"

-My BFF

(Also, when they have the best bodies ever! Happy hump day, all)

Gender bias

On Monday night, I was on-call with SAVI. While I can't go into specifics, I will say that it was a different challenge, since the survivor was a man.

I was initally nervous that he would be angry or ashamed - since female to male violence is more rare. I couldn't have been more wrong. He was such a sweet and mild-mannered man, and he seemed genuinely glad to have me there.

At one point he asked, "Is this a serious crime? When the police came I thought they were going to arrest me since it's usually the man."

I explained that it is definitely a serious crime because no human should be treated that way, and he had the same rights as a female. At that point, I felt foolish for having been nervous - just as I had told him, the gender doesn't matter.

*scorpio*