Ho Ho Ho

Christmas came early this year in the form of "cyber monday"! I am doing most of my holiday shopping online after experiencing doomsday at Macy's in the picture above.

I am looking at amazing designer discounts at the following:

*Net-A-Porter- up to 50% my favs like Balmain, Isabel Marant, Alexander McQueen, and Versace (yes, my blue birthday dress is now 30% off to just under $7,000)

*Saks- 40% designer shoes!! spare yourself the sales floor and buy online. Otherwise you will have to brave the women on the 8th floor on December 1st.

*All Saints- 25% off the most amazing gothic knits

*ShopBop- take $50+ off purchases of $250+ ENDS TONIGHT


*Aries*

I Hate My Heart.

How come I couldn't care less about the very well-read, feminist, highly successful doctor/hedge fund owner/chairman/charity founder (with all his hair!) who thinks I hung the moon...


...and I can barely wait to see the temporarily disabled, slightly depressed, hyper-masculine, culturally incompatible bald guy who's admiration I can't win, no matter what I accomplish?





I know... I know.



*scorpio*

Holiday Dressing

I am dreaming of a white Christmas (white sand beaches, not snow).

On New Year's Eve, I will most likely be sipping Champagne on the back of a boat in jeans and a tank. Therefore, I will have to find city parties throughout December to justify buying fun party dresses of the season. Maybe the peppermint lattes and Nest holiday candles have already gone to my head, but this year I am ready to go all out with super girlie trends! Maybe I can convince my friends to have a tree trimming party or holiday cocktail gathering to create the perfect setting for beautiful confections like these:






*Best of all you can find all of these and get a discount on Bloomingdales.com*

*Aries*

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our readers who are celebrating!

I am thankful for so many things and yet feel the winter blues creeping up on me. I know when a quiet night in with pecan pie and an old movie becomes more appealing than a champagne filled party at the Boom Boom Room! Lately, I have been feeling WAY too domestic! My long days have somehow become filled with longer work days, followed by Christmas shopping, eating sugary carbs, reading, and financial planning?? After overeating for 3 days straight, I need to kick my fabulous single ass into gear! Runs on along the Westside Highway are now a distant memory. My gym membership needs to see a lot more activity before I am start to resemble the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon in the Macy's Day Parade. The idea of squeezing into a sexy cocktail dress seems impractical and awful. I begin to like my hibernation chamber and have no desire to flirt, dance, wear makeup, or layer my armor against the rapidly dropping northern temperatures. Even cocktails and sex have lost their appeal.



I have too much on my calendar to fall into this grey period of winter blues. Even though I was strolling through the streets of Rome at this time last year, I am happy to have been able to enjoy this holiday in the city. So I will give thanks, plan new workout goals, reconnect to my social life, and return to the life of a knockout blonde!

*Aries*

First Tracks!

NYE at Vail Village

Our place last year in Aspen

Relaxing by the fire with a hot toddy

For the past three weeks I have been in self-imposed seclusion prepping for the GRE. My days and nights are filled with vocab flashcards and math drills. I dream in data. My family's become accustomed to me answering the phone with, "Help me with the Quadratic equation" or "Obliquy is to opprobrium as vituperitive is to polemic?" (It's not). Suffice to say, it's pretty unbearable.

So imagine my surprise when I opened my inbox today to see a note from an old friend inviting me to Aspen with him over the break. Conveniently, it falls just a few days after I'm scheduled to do battle with the GRE... and I cannot think of a better way to celebrate. Last year, we took this incredible mogul course and I've been reminiscing ever since. (See photos above - unfortunately I'm one of those people who always forgets to snap pics while on the snow - I'm too busy having fun!) We had the perfect sunny weather and it was early enough in the season that the mountains were ours for the taking.

Though my office has been adding holiday tracks to our playlist for weeks now, to me, it doesn't feel like holiday season until I'm on the lift. Christmas can't come soon enough!

Happy Holidays, all!

*scorpio*

New blog I love...

I'm an avid reader, and always looking for a lengthy, well written post online during my (occasional) downtime at work. This blog satisfies both requirements. It's called Walk While Reading (which is funny, because I often do, much to the chagrin of my fellow commuters). He sometimes posts excerpts from his favorite books, and it's so refreshing to read great prose in the middle of a Excel-heavy day. I've followed a few of his novel recommendations and have not been dissapointed, as our tastes are similar: prosaic fiction. Such a treat... and so much more relaxing to read in bed after a long day rather than following the daily dramas of the Housewives (not that I don't do that, too!)

http://walkwhilereading.tumblr.com/

*scorpio*

Gate Rape

I just read about the horrifying 'choice' airline passengers are now afforded. Essentially, either submit to a full-body scan machine or an 'enhanced pat-down'. I'd already read a bit about the full-body scanner, but they've just implimented the enhanced pat-down. I'm floored that this is allowed under the guise of security.

Full Body Scanners:
1. These machines use ionizing radiation, which is damaging to your DNA. It's especially harmful to women who are pregnant or may become pregnant(!), children and those who have or have had skin cancer.
2. The effect is cumulative, meaning your risk increases each time you submit to a scan.
3. TSA agents (who are only required to have a high school diploma or GED and very little training) will see a full image of your naked body, genitals included. One man recently complained that the TSA agents were mocking his small penis after the scan.
4. All passengers must submit to the Full Body Scanner, including children, the elderly, those recovering from cancer, etc. If you choose to "opt out" of the scanner, your only other option is the Enhanced Pat-Down.

Enhanced Pat-Down
1. Deceptive in its terminology, an enhanced pat-down includes aggressive touching of the genitals. This includes being touched INSIDE your garments. (e.g. up your skirt)
2. Children are required to submit to the full pat-down as well. This begs the question - how do you teach your children that they should never be inappropriately touched, except for if it's someone in a uniform!? Incredibly dangerous.
3. What about rape survivors or sexual assault survivors? Talk about re-traumatizing.
4. Those who have endured serious illness, and have complicated medical devices have no choice but to submit to the enhanced pat-down. One woman speaks of having to remove her masectomy prosthesis and reveal her scars.


We should not be forced to inure this literal stripping of our rights, simply because we purchased a plane ticket. This is 'Sophie's Choice' of airline travel.

Read a more eloquent account here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/19/business/19security.html?pagewanted=1
and be sure to check out the comments section, where people who have already experienced this have written about their ordeal.

TSA's specious logic cannot continue unchecked. Many Americans have decided to participate in Opt Out Day. They are refusing to fly on one of the biggest travel days of the year: next Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Read more here: http://wewontfly.com/


image from www.optoutday.com

*scorpio*

JACKASS

Today was such a beautiful WARM fall day in the city. One of my glorious girlfriends convinced me to spend a carefree day strolling through Central Park.

We happily walked with holiday flavored lattes in hand and decided to relax in the sun on the giant lawn. (I think it is called Sheep's Meadow) The sun was shining and the field was pretty empty except for a few lounging couples and 1 group of guys playing a game of touch football. We purposefully walked to the east, away from the game, and set up camp. We were laughing, catching up, and thoroughly enjoying the warmth and glow of golden leaves on a perfect fall day.

Suddenly, the group of jackasses was upon us. I was not surprised that these guys would show no consideration for the women that they were about to trample in their game of grown up tag. As women in New Yorker, my friend and I had no problem making our feelings known. First, we said "could you please not play right in front of us?" To this, the leader of the jackasses (wearing a football jersey which only made it more clear he was a complete douche) said "well, you are in our goal line that we established at the beginning of the game" and pointed to a backpack that was a few yards away. My friend and I were both stunned at his response. I immediately thought "typical", followed by a burning desire to pick up his backpack and throw it at him. I also thought of tackling him or grabbing the football and punting it in the opposite direction. We both stared at him and then said, "why don't you move the goal then?" (They literally had hundreds of yards to move around in) He ran off, actually tripping (classic) and the play continued. They actually decided to be complete jackasses and play extra close to us, at one point saying they could use us as goal posts, followed by it would be our fault if they fell on us. I could feel the aggression building inside of me as I yelled "this is a fucking public park you can't control the entire space!" My friend echoed "you can clearly move away from us, as we did when we saw your game many yards away." Douche jersey boy shrugged at this and ran to his teammates. My friend and I spent the next couple of hours making fun of them and throwing out comments every time they got close to us. They finally realized we were constantly laughing at them and not giving up any ground, so they moved away.

Just when we thought the coast was clear another group started up a game to flirt with us. They approached us twice. This was the conversation that finally burst their bubble:

Idiot: "So you girls don't want to play football? What you're not athletic? You don't like sports?"

*note: he just walked up and interrupted our private conversation with rapid fire questions

My friend: "No, we are just relaxing..."

Aries: "Trying to enjoy the day"

Idiot: "So what are you, roommates?....Lovers?"

*note: How do you go straight from roommates to lovers?? My friend and I looked at both of them, then each other not really knowing what to say.....

My friend: "Does it matter?"

Aries: "What are you guys? Roommates? Lovers?"

Idiot: "Well we...are.....uh...."

Idiot 2: "Ooookkk, well time to go."

note: I think they actually realized how dumb their question sounded and they walked away.

I decided to take pictures of both groups and post it on the blog under the title JACKASS. Childish, maybe. Gratifying, extremely :-)


The guy in the blue track pants is the one who started the conversation above


This is the notorious goal post marker that belonged to the group of jackasses (picture at top of blog)

I have also included lovely pictures of Central Park!





*Aries*

Spring Forward

I often liken my fashion job to that of an alcoholic working in a bar. I just can't quit this stuff!

What I'm looking forward to for spring:

a little Parisian chic

Elizabeth & James

Every year for my birthday, I buy myself a dress. I have been dreaming about a dress like this for... years? I love green on a blonde.

Alice & Olivia
This blue baby is lovely, too. I adore cap sleeves.

Tibi
Lanvin is coming to H&M in just a few short days. Below, a hint of Elbaz's genius. As one woman told him, "Every time I wear a Lanvin dress, a man falls in love with me." How could you blame him?

Lanvin
And, the Olsen's take on the white ruffle. Huge for spring.

Elizabeth & James

Like I said, I'm a sucker for green on a blonde. Loving this cool mint.

Elizabeth & James

Freaking fabulous duster coat. I can picture myself doing just about anything in it. Must have.

Elizabeth & James

I don't think I'll ever fall out of love with the gladiator. Here, updated with a bit of lapin.

Pucci

My family and I spend every Christmas on the Colorado slopes... but my dear Aries will be sunning herself. Below, what I would rock- with a tan, natch:

Malene Birger
Wouldn't it just be fab over this suit?

Jessika Ballen

*all images by net-a-porter and Vie Society

*scorpio*

The Boys of La La Land

I am laughing to myself (and out loud) as I look through old photos from my past years in Los Angeles. I am actually really happy that I am already laughing at a past I was once so annoyed by!

Here are a few of my favorite trip ups while traveling down memory lane........

*Bachelor 1: Early-30 something who treated me like a queen for 3 months, only to disappear the day he was supposed to meet my mom. He finally resurfaced 5 days later to complain about his ex-girlfriend's emotional baggage that somehow landed them both in therapy, where he was told he could only manage one woman in his life so I was out. He continued to bitch to me about how she didn't want him, but her father insisted they go to therapy together. REALLY??? His last name was a body part, so in the end I feel like I came out ahead.

*Bachelor 2: Mid-30 something balding movie producer who nicknamed me "trouble" and used to break dance to The Killers as foreplay? I don't know what demographic that would turn on? In any case, we had a fun and sexually charged relationship, although very brief. He thought I was heartbroken and asked all of my friends how I was handling it at industry parties. They always said: "really, she has moved on, stop worrying about it".

*Bachelor 3: Late-30 something producer who played literal mind games with me on the night we met at a club opening. We basically had a sexting relationship for almost 3 months, everyday all day, until one night we sealed the deal. It was weird, then amazing, then weird again. He had what resembled a 18 year old boys room in a hippie tree house apartment that he shared with his brother. At one point I thought he was going to try to share me...I did say weird. Producers are the LA version of banker boys.

*Bachelor 4: He reminded me of the bashful dorf in Snow White. He claimed to be a photographer, but really worked with porn websites. He was already mentioned on this blog for his "shortcomings" ;) I will never forget pacing around my kitchen biting my tongue as he walked me through a penile enlargement operation....in great detail!

*Bachelor 5: Guy whom I saw from a distance while attending Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. One day he came up to me and said "I will kiss you right now in front of everyone" and he did. Now, if anyone tried to pull that here and now their face would still be stinging from my hand, but I was different back then. Anyways, I have a picture of him sitting front row decked out in leather pants and Native American accessories. He was Native American, yet used a clip in braid ponytail which he took off one night before bed! I was terrified at first and will never date another man who uses clip in hair extensions while wearing women's Juicy tracksuits!!!

*Bachelor 6: Guy whom I met on Halloween just before getting picked up by Sean Lennon (who took me to pick up chocolate bars and then arrived at Cary Fisher's house, all the while dressed as a slutty Alice in Wonderland). I have pictures to prove every step along the way. Anyways, it felt like a love at first sight moment. He gave me his grandfather's ring to hold on to until he saw me again, called me to say how lovely it was to meet me, only I had to hang up because Sean was getting irritated. We went out on a date and Mr. Right quickly became Mr. Wrong. He showed me his tattoo that is literally of a trophy with his ex wife's name under it. After they divorced he had a giant red "VOID" stamp tattooed across it. You can imagine my facial expression as he proudly showed this to me. He also has many pictures of himself with famous rappers and tons of cash. He told me he would come "kidnap" me one night, but when he picked me up he was fuming because he got lost somewhere in Hollywood. He sped off like a maniac while blasting music so loud I thought the windows would shatter. Looking back, I really think he was on some serious drugs.

*Bachelor 7: We met over margaritas and 2 days later he was taking me camping in the Sequoias (yes, I am lucky he was not a serial killer). We had the most amazing time and happily continued the relationship back in LA. I invited him to my friend's birthday, where he pulled me outside to tell me how amazing I was. We danced and I thought we were having fun, but come 2:00am he came up to me on the dance floor and said "we are too different. I like to party, so I am going to a party with my friend now" and he just walked away never to be heard from again??? WTF.

*Bachelor 8: He may be my favorite, simple and sweet. He was actually a tourist just visiting Los Angeles. I picked him up at The Standard hotel and took him back to my place. He went down on me for hours and expected nothing in return. The next morning I had to drop him off at some random bus stop because I had to go to work and couldn't drive him all the way to Santa Monica. I felt bad, but then simply forgot about it.

There are so many more. I can only imagine what I will think of the boys of NYC once I look back in the next chapter of my life. Let's hope I am laughing.

*Aries*

A Confession...

I like to 'try on' relationships: see what it feels like to be serious with someone, play house, even talk wedding. But in the back of my head there is always and endpoint. It's as if I believe that no relationship lasts forever, and happiness in love is fleeting. And if it seems like it may last, I ensure it doesn't. I'm only comfortable giving my heart away when I know I'll take it back. I've always done this. I've never made it over a year: I just have this intrinsic belief that it won't last. It's imbedded so much that I didn't even realize it ... until I left my last boyfriend.

I told myself I would be fine - better off, even - but I wasn't. And I couldn't understand why my old getting-over-him tricks didn't work. Months went by; a year even. But it was like my heart thumped his name. I couldn't move on... despite how I tried. It was terrifying. I didn't understand. And then I looked around me, at other relationships, and realized it didn't always have to end. Love doesn't have to mean pain. It doesn't always have to explode/implode so catastrophically. I was always looking for the ways it would fail, the inevitable destruction, and protecting myself against it by leaving first. It's the oldest story - but to me it was like the scales had been lifted from my lids.

I watched my younger brother with his live-in love, and how easy & solid it was. He recently casually mentioned to me that she was his best friend. I thought about that for weeks - I didn't know it was possible.

See, my parents' divorce was epic, and as the eldest I bore the brunt of it. I would bring my brother into my room when I heard the yelling, and we would play loud music to drown it out. I would play games with him when my mom would take us away in the middle of the night. He told me that he didn't remember the fighting, which means of course that I was successful in protecting him. It also means that he believes in love. He believes it can be safe & happy. And I'm so happy that he feels that way. I only just realized I could have what he does. Just because I saw a spectacular failure doesn't mean I'm destined to repeat it. I don't always have to be hunting for the fatal flaw. I don't have to destroy before I am destroyed. And most of all, my partner & I can be on the same team.

It was like something finally clicked... I'm allowed to trust men. And that's when I realized that more than anything in the world, I wanted him back. The one man who made even a grocery store visit magical (and I loathe the grocery store). The guy that I was always excited to see, even after a year of dating. I realized I'd made a huge mistake. Love doesn't have to be a prison. Real love doesn't come around that often. My stomach ached as I realized how carelessly I'd discarded mine.

Every day, I'm wracked with regret. And what hurts the most is the fact that I did it to myself. In all my machinations to protect my heart - I ended up fatally wounding it.


*scorpio*

Private Practice

Aries texted me about this episode last night. I missed it, but here's a compelling analysis.

Did anyone see it? What did you think?

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/11/private_practice_rape_episode.html