Rootless

I spent the weekend visiting my mother in Spring Lake, MI. She requested/guilt-tripped me to help her organize her closet. Because the absolute first thing I want to do after weeks of living out of suitcases and sleeping in random places is go to mom's boyfriends home (another random place) and help her sort through her massive pile of clothes. So much better than the Hamptons, yes? But - she basically begged me to come. So I went. Begrudgingly.

Turns out I come by my clotheshorse proclivities honestly. Mom has more than DOUBLE my wardrobe (and mine is bordering on the insane). The good thing about this was, when creating an outfit I could grab just the exact shade of green I needed from her massive collection. We took photos of each outfit so she can recreate them later. I have to say, that part was fun, even if we did work well into the night.

But on my way back to NYC, I had a complete and total meltdown. Sobbing-in-a-public-restroom style. I don't know why. I've cried a few times this weekend. I think I just feel rootless. I've spent the past few weeks camped out in my brother's guest room in Brooklyn Heights surrounded by piles of clothes. Sometimes his girlfriend's family comes to visit and I'm relegated to the couch for a night or two. I move into my new place tonight, but it's a soft move as most of my stuff is still in my West Village apartment. That means, no dishes, no AC unit, no bedframe. Yay.

Jason's business is running seamlessly and I'm so proud of him, but I feel like I really need a hug these days. Kinda hard to do over Skype.

I've noticed instead of hugs, I'm racking up clothes. Honestly, I cannot stop shopping. I leave the office every day on some sartorial excursion. Next obsession? Lace shorts. Guess they call it retail therapy for a reason.

*scorpio*

The Poet

Part of my Italian discovery was that you never know what a moment will bring. I met this man two years ago by chance. I was with another man, who flew me to Rome for Thanksgiving, and the Poet was drunk with a group of his friends. They approached us and I took a few pictures of him and his friends goofing around. I took his email to send the pictures to him and that was it. When I returned to the States I emailed the pictures to him on Facebook and we maybe spoke three more times, at most.

A few days ago, I found myself meeting him for a drink two years later. It was a wonderful surprise that we had a connection of the mind and soul that reached deeper than anyone I have met in 29 years. He is a poet, writer, and romantic at heart. I woke up this morning to a lovely email that ended with the line below:

"....i just hope to know you better and try to swim under your surface again like yesterday..your complexity is very interesting and your eyes told me that behind your pretty aspect there is more than a beautiful woman, there is a wonderful abyss to find, a charming world to discover."


*Aries*

Double Life

I have just returned from 10 days of traveling around Italy and feel as though I lived a double life for 6 months! I am proud of this trip that I booked and funded on my own! I knew it would be an experience to remember, but never guessed I would learn so much about life and myself.

It is difficult to describe, but I was speaking to my acupuncturist about it today and she summed it up well. Americans tend to distract themselves from their lives. They look to the media and marketing teams to make life "better". New Yorkers are especially guilty of doing everything possible to ignore the day to day. We walk, drive, and ride everywhere with ipads, iPhone, and ipods. We try to disconnect to the point of being closed off. Europeans love to live life. I can't tell you how refreshing it was to see people in real conversations, without constantly checking a blackberry and not to hear one thing about the Kardashians, Real Housewives, etc!

After meeting with various locals and tourists, something finally clicked! I had become so disconnected that I was standing in my own way of real love and life. I ignored the flirtation of the hottest man I have ever seen in the Roma Termini and suddenly felt like Eckhart Tolle slapped me in the face :) I decided that I had to make a change and within 48 hours I formed amazing connections with 3 people because I was willing to be present and open in my own life. The bottom line is you just never know what opportunities will present themselves at any given moment, but if you are not paying attention you will miss them all! I know this will not make sense to some people, but to those who do understand it can be a life changing realization.

I know it will take some work, as it is easy to fall back into the New York grind, but I am determined to keep this adaptation of the Italian lifestyle.

*Aries*