Bieber

It was like any other Thursday in New York. I enjoyed an outdoor dinner at Spice Market with a good friend, then met another group at The Standard. Two more gin and cucumber martinis turned a simple night into an unforgettable one.

I surprised myself by picking up Justin Bieber's long lost older brother (with a more mature haircut). I am not sure how it happened, but one minute I was hearing stories about his interesting 24 years of life and the next we are half naked on my roof? It was a good thing he was hung like a porn star and put a lot of passion in his kisses, because his baby face made me feel like I was his babysitter vs. lover.

I admire his enthusiasm and energy, but this little fish needs some more time to grow in the big pond. Still, it is a sweet and pleasurable memory to add to the books.

"Never Say Never" right Biebs?

*Aries*

Under Pressure

Last weekend, Jason & I housesat for his friends. We were excited to spend time with their puppy, Petey... how naive we were. The dog was so badly behaved it was maddening. He wouldn't stop moving and barking and licking and begging for attention. We did everything we could think of - walking, feeding, playing. Nothing sated the little monster. On top of that, while Jason and I were finally getting our groove on in the bedroom, we put Petey in the living room. Just as I was getting into it, I heard the damn dog bark. I tried to ignore it but the barks became more insistent and we had to stop. Jason and I lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, hypothosizing what could be wrong with Petey. I had this flash - OMG this feels like what it would be like to raise a child! It was all too real.

The miasma of panic stayed with me through the week. I did the mental math - we'd only been offically together for a month. ONE MONTH. And he's talking about going to Europe with me this summer, and what are August plans are, and whether he should live part-time with me next year while I'm at school. I felt like the world was closing in. Just one month ago, I was dating tons of people, going out all the time and feeling free. Now I feel all of this pressure.

Jason called last night. My roommate is going to be out of town this next week and I'm looking forward to having the place to myself. I casually mentioned this to Jason and he suggested, without missing a beat, that he come and stay with me in my apartment for the week. A whole week of me getting up and going to work and trying to work out and meeting friends all while having him there, writing his dissertation and cooking. It just Freaked Me Out.

I'm the type of girl who's gone entire relationships without letting the guy see my place. I like my space. I like my alone time. I'm not ready to be showing my post-workout side or my coming-home-buzzed side. I don't want him asking what I'm doing that night. I don't want the obligation of telling someone where I am. Baby steps, for goddsakes. It's only been a month! In my last relationship, we didn't even see each other sober for almost three months. This is warp speed for me.

Of course, the great thing about Jason is that I can talk to him about this stuff. So we talked about how I feel like we're moving too fast and perhaps we shouldn't be talking about the future so much. I even told him that if we weren't long distance, he wouldn't even know my address yet. I think he understood. We'll see how it goes this weekend.

The funny thing is- and he concurred- we both freak out when we're not together and I build up my walls and he overanalyzes, but then when we see each other everything is perfect- like, truly wonderful.

But let's not get too excited.
*scorpio*

Ex Text

The Backstory: Jay is my ex , the one who got in the motocycle accident. After his accident, I visited him in the hospital. Then I would pop in every week and push him around the park. When he was out of the wheelchair, we would go to dinner or a movie, basically anything to keep his mind off of the pain of both losing his ability to walk and the physical pain he was still experiencing. This went on for about six months, until, inevitably, as is his habit, he was quite rude to me. I decided I didn't deserve that, and so I left. This was late November.

We still IM from time to time, and apparently he just returned from India where he bought me a little present to say thank you for taking care of him. He asked me to lunch on Monday so he could give it to me. I initally said sure, since I didn't really care and I like to stay friendly... but then I thought about it. In our convo, he called me lazy because I was hesitant to book it all the way from 7th to Lex to meet him on a workday when I don't even get a lunch break, told me to stop being dramatic when I made a silly joke, and brought up a time when I disappointed him as a girlfriend. Ewwww. I really don't need that energy in my life, and I'm not even sure why he thinks its appropriate to talk to me that way. Also, I have a boyfriend now, and I don't want him even getting the tiniest bit worried or insecure about an ex of mine.

I had to forward the exchange to my BFF because it was just too ridiculous...



OF COURSE now that I'm in a relationship, he's pouting. He had initally offered to mail it to me, but then when I suggested he do so he said, "I'm almost sorry I got it." This is so classic him. He's done/said some seriously cold things to me over the years (see: I want to love you but I can't). God forbid he says he's happy for me, even though I said that to him when he was dating someone after me. I'm just tired of the drama & I don't want to even remind myself that there are men out there like that when my boyfriend is SUCH a great, kind man. New chapter, hello.

*scorpio*

A Picture Tells A Thousand Words

There is only one male celebrity I have always thought "now that is the perfect man". He appears to be the loving husband and father to a gorg wife and even more gorg little boys. He seems laid back, creative, masculine, funny, and sexy as hell.



I was disappointed to find out he has a teenage love child, but Gwen seemed to forgive him so I did too. Now, he is apparently admitting to a gay love affair as a young adult?? My bubble officially burst. Then I thought, if Gavin was my dream and he had a male lover, how many other guys may have had the same experience? Is it a common thing for men to experiment in their early years? Just how common is this?

I really don't need one more thing to worry about as far as relationships go!

*Aries*

Saturday AM Antics

To pick up where Scorpio left off on Friday night....

We left the first hot spot in a street limo complete with crazy driver in a cowboy hat. It turned into every male fantasy as Scorpio and I piled in with our entourage of at least 8 gorg swedish women and one drunk guy who snuck in the side. We ended up at hot spot number 2 (pictured below)



As soon as I walked down the stairs someone tapped me on the arm. It was this guy who I hadn't seen in over a month, but who would not stop calling me (see blog post- Text from Last Night posted on Sept.11). I was completely caught off guard!! How does this shit happen to me?? This other guy I had been ignoring ended up at the birthday party! I really do not know one other person who always runs into people like I do. Anyways, the guy I have been seeing on a regular basis then walks in behind us. I think he was drunk and didn't notice, but I was on full alert. I told Guy #1 I had to go find my friends, as Guy #2 text me asking where I was. I found him in the corner and shared a little affection until I looked over my shoulder and spotted Guy #1, who then walked over to talk to me!! There I was, feeling like that Twix commercial where it says "need a moment? " Then time stops and the guy takes a bite of the Twix and thinks of something clever to smooth everything over. I quickly said "I have to go check on Scorpio in the bathroom". Guy #2 sat down, Guy #1 escorted me to the bathroom and waited!!! Scorpio and I said "hello" to him again and then I pulled her the back way to the dance floor. I thought I was finally in the clear and started to text Guy #2 to figure out where he was, when Guy #1 grabbed me from behind, at our table!? How did he find me so fast??? Thankfully he said "goodbye" and I found Guy #2 to say "goodbye" before sharing a cab of intoxicated funny stories with Scorpio all the way home.

Another night of antics and apparently reunions with 3 of the 5 guys who have seen my roof ;-) I mean what are the odds of that happening?? I looked at myself the next day and laughed. I realized New York has turned me into the player I never want to meet.

*Aries*

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world...

You would think on an island of 8 million people, you could go a lifetime without seeing the same person twice. I have the notorious reputation with my friends that when you walk with me it is inevitable that your most recent heartbreak, asshole, or one night stand will reappear.

Fate's Practical Jokes
It was 9:00am on a crisp Sunday morning and I was doing what all New Yorkers dread, searching for a new apartment. The Soho streets were eerily quiet as I strutted down Prince Street without a soul in sight. A lone figure suddenly appeared in the distance. I was hidden under layers of cashmere and leather with my typical oversized blackout shades. I was in the zone with my moody indie iPod playlist wondering if the open house would be worth waking up so early on a Sunday. I came out of the mental fog just as the runner was in my reach. From 6 feet away: I realized he was actually tall! At 5 feet: I realized he was really cute, 3 feet: I thought he looked familiar and at 2 feet past me: I realized it was Jason! Jason was a friend of a friend, whom I met a couple of times, went out with a couple of times, slept with a couple of times and then ruined because I have a commitment problem & always want the BBD (Bigger, Better Deal). It ended awkwardly yet amicably over text and had been a year since we crossed paths. He was that guy that you always think…”what if” ...like The One Who Got Away- because you decided to be an idiot. As the shock wore off, I fumbled through my phone contacts to see if I still had his number. I sent him a text- like a paper airplane into the sky- having no idea if it would reach him or if he would respond. Seconds later, I received a really sweet text from him saying he realized it was me about 5 paces after he ran by. He ended the text with “You looked great, BTW”. Suddenly my early rising on that morning was all worth it. I sent back another friendly and mildly flirtatious text that he looked great too. We continued flirting for 3 more texts before he stopped responding. I decided to continue to test the waters and friend him on Facebook.

A month passed. I was now in a fantastic new apartment right by the Westside Highway. One afternoon I decided to go for a long run and enjoy the new hood. On my way back, about 2.5 miles in, as the sweat became a steady flow out of every pore, I see Jason, running…again! This time we literally ran straight towards each other. I flagged him down and we exchanged an awkward half-tap, half-sweaty hug. I was still trying to catch my breathe and almost tripped as my legs started to feel like noodles. So there I was, wobbling, sweating, and breathing like I was in labor, trying to look attractive, yet failing miserably. This actual face-to-face exchange had more tension than necessary or maybe we were both feeling really self-conscious. He ended the conversation with “I will keep an eye out for you running” as he actually mimed running with his arms! Not the reaction I hoped for.

Two days later, I agreed to go to watch a basketball game with a group of people that I rarely ever see, at a bar that I had never been to, in a part of town that I never enter: Murray Hill. It was packed wall-to-wall with frat guys and stocky Southern girls. I was just approaching the table when I saw Jason! He looked to be saying goodbye to a group and walked down the sidewalk. I stared through the window as he walked past me, but could not move to get outside to stop him, so I sent him a text. He was just as shocked because he said that he had never been to the bar or that part of town either. He then joked that I must be stalking him and that it would “awesome” if I was. He said that he was going to go home and sleep, so I sat and pretended to be interested in the game for another 30 minutes before calling it a night as well.

I now hear that he just moved into an apartment two blocks away from me but I haven’t run into him again. For an optimistic moment, I thought the universe was trying to tell us something by throwing us together over and over again in the most random places. Why else would you run into someone so many times in New York? But, in the end it's just fate laughing as it continues to fuck with me.

*aries*