The Honk Heard Round the World

Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world to ban women from driving. In this ultraconservative country, women are also required to have express written permission from a male member of their family in order to work outside of the home, travel, or even undergo certain medical procedures.

Friday saw a rare grass-roots protest spurred by a woman brazenly driving around the city for 45 minutes with her husband in the passenger seat. Hillary Clinton has begun talks with Saudi officials to lift the driving ban after several women followed suit and got behind the wheel.

Read more here

*scorpio*

Funny Like A Dude

A lot has been said about Hollywoods unwillingness to work outside of female stereotypes, but all of that is starting to change with the rise of Kristin Wiig and Anna Faris. Both women have an appetite for Aptow-style humor, and they think that audiences are ready to see women in those vulger roles. Anna and Kristin have pushed hard for their films to be made (Kristin was asked to write Bridesmaids in order for it to be produced). While the women are conventionally beautiful, they are also funny, silly, a little gross, and most of all - human. Gone are the one-dimensional 'girlfriend' or 'bitch' roles; these women are real.

It's a gamble - as this New Yorker article points out- but I'm hoping its a smash success. We've seen the scope of female roles widen over the years; Meryl Streep still has a thriving career past the age of 40 (and Betty White!).

Here's hoping it continues, after all, according to the Geena Davis Institute On Gender in Media, "The more hours of TV a girl watches, the fewer options she believes she has in life. The more hours boys watch, the more sexist their views become."

*scorpio*

Response to Naomi Wolf, Social Media

Reader Kemiii brought up a great question on my last post about rape culture. She wanted to know my thoughts regarding Naomi Wolf's public statements about the Julian Assange rape case.

I grew up on Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth, and I saw her speak just last month at the More Magazine women's forum "Where are the Young Feminists?" at 92Y. I have always respected her insight and looked to her as a feminist model. However, her rape-positive, blame-the-victim comments regarding this case are unforgiveable.

Look, I kind of see where she is coming from. Obviously rape happens everywhere all the time and doesn't ever get the kind of attention this case does. But that doesn't mean that once a case does get press, we critique it. What women, feminists, politicians, and public figures say about rape is phenomonally important. The public statements we make shape the social consciousness of our country. When we see cases like Kobe Bryant or Duke University - cases in which the woman accuser(s) were publically humiliated, sent death threats, and deemed to be sluts or 'asking for it' we quite literally take three steps backwards. Everyone is in our country is familiar with these cases; when we deny these women a voice, we teach every woman that rape doesn't exist. We tell them, no one will believe you. We say, keep your mouth shut. We imply, it's her fault.

Why do you think rape is the most underreported crime in the country? It's our own damn fault for not speaking out in the media. Rape is rape is rape. It is never, ever okay.

Naomi Wolf has failed me.

But we, as women, can change things, even on a micro level. Change the dialogue. Believe your friends if they've been through rape/sex assault. Understand what a massive, damaging crime it is. Be aware of your own prejudices, then change them. When your friends/family are speaking about the case, give it the weight it properly deserves.

Think critically about the narrative - is it contributing to a rape culture? Say something.

*scorpio*

Educate Yourself:
Fantasic article article about the effects of the media on rape cases.

Feministing has a great response to Naomi.

Stealing the Ball

When I was a girl, my family would spend summers at Chautauqua. (They all still do, while I’m chained to my desk). The kids would all go to Club, where we would while away the days playing variations of classic American sports: bennis (baseball & tennis combined), cricket, dodgeball, etc. Inevitably, in every one of these games, a pumped-up boy would lunge himself in front of a very capable girl, just moments before she was to catch the ball. Having no confidence in her abilities, he would try to ‘save her’ and steal some glory for himself. Of course, the cocktail of velocity & adrenaline almost certainly resulted in a fumble. Whereas the girl was perfectly in place for a solid catch, the boy’s hubris would force a loss.

I re-learned this lesson as a teen as well. I remember very distinctly, in high school, beginning to answer the teacher’s question. Invariably, a boy would butt in, effectively cutting me off. In college, I raged against this (and became a bit of a strident feminist along the way). I would fight for my turn to speak, and if I was cut off, I would interrupt. It felt good to be able to stand up for myself. After all, I had a brain and I deserved a chance to use it.

Then I moved into a field with very little male ego… fashion. Sure, there’s ego, but it’s not mixed with testosterone and a desire to constantly jockey for position. My feminism settled into a nicely encapsulated “men & women are equal” party line. I slowly forgot those early hard lessons. (Plus, I started wearing 5 inch heels so everyone would have to pay attention to me!)

Last night at the gym, I was reminded of the incredible irrationality of the male ego. I work out at one of those classic old school gyms where you rack the machine weights yourself. It’s underground and massive and everyone pretty much ignores each other. (Coming from the SoHo Equinox which is basically a pick-up joint, this was a welcome repose). I walked in last night around 10 pm, expecting it to be mostly empty. It is. I’m the only woman in the gym of six men. I bee-lined for the leg press machine, intending to bang out a quick leg rotation and be on my way home. The machine had 100 lbs on each side. I started to slide one 50lb weight off the right side, and was about to place it on the ground, when I hear a man get up from his machine behind me and approach.

“I can help with that”. I survey him up & down. The man is about 50, in jeans, and only hopes he could be my height.

“No, I’ve got it” I reply.

“I insist, after all I was just using it. I should’ve unracked it.”

I acquiesce, and stand by as he slowly lifts one 50lb off one side. He asks me how much I usually press. I said, “It’s been a while, but I’ll start with 100, thank you.”

He counters, “Why don’t we start you off with just the bar?”

My mouth just about drops to the floor. Just the bar? Just the bar?!!? If I can’t lift 100 with both legs then I wouldn’t be able to support my own body weight. Who does he think I am? Some little girl who doesn’t know her way around a gym?

I’m incensed. I say, “No, I want 100.” He looks at me patronizingly.

“Please stop, I don’t need your help,” I say as I move toward the machine. He goes back to his sad little calf raises as I lower myself into the machine. I am fuming. I can’t believe some old man has the balls to tell me I can’t lift what I think I can. It’s not even that much weight. I’m practically 6 feet tall and I’m a mesomorph. I am strong & capable. It’s very important for me as a woman to be physically capable. I like to walk around the city with confidence that I can handle myself in most situations. But I am so angry at this exchange, I end up pumping out a few too many reps. It’s a miracle I was able to even walk home. I knew I would have to settle for flats in the morning.

Still, it was worth it to prove that man wrong. Later, a male friend of mine elucidated the exchange for me. Apparently, the old guy was embarrassed that I was about to lift half of what he was lifting. His fragile ego couldn’t handle the thought so he did what guys do best when faced with a threat; he stumbled in and tried to "steal the ball".

The male ego: puffs up like a big balloon… and pops just as easily.

I’m just tired of tiptoeing around it.

*scorpio*