Repent. Rent. Repeat.

Every New Yorker knows what an exquisite hell moving day can become. Last year, I somehow managed to get away with having my (still-drunk) boyfriend and a few Russian movers take me from a six-story walk up in the EV to a one-story walk up in the WV. My boyfriend was still drunk because it was his birthday, and we had been up until six AM the night before, celebrating with his out-of-town friends. The poor guy was literally sweating vodka.

But that was nothing compared to that sweet summer day in late July when my new roommate descended from Boston. Having never lived in New York before, she unsuspectingly brought her normal-person sized furniture. It was midday on a Wednesday when I received the call. The couch wouldn't fit in the apartment. This would've been fine had I saved our previous couch, but at her urging, I sold it to make room for her better one... which she assured me would fit.

Fortunately, she had hired the World's Best Movers and they patiently, and painstakingly held the couch in mid-air for over twenty minutes as they whispered prayers that it would fit through my narrow WV doorways. I can still hear one mover, under his breath, "Come on, baby... oh come on... work for me!" It was pretty entertaining had I not been watching the paint being scraped off the doorjamb. Through a mind-bending feat of geometry & luck, we were able to get one piece of the sectional into the room after removing the door from the frame!

At this point, my roommate naively suggests that we try to fit the second part of the sectional in the room. It is apparent to anyone with eyes that there is no feasible way this would fit. But we can't just leave it on the street... so she suggests that we keep it in the room and she will take a chainsaw to it, and throw the pieces out the window.

I looked at her in stunned silence and immediately called my office to tell them I wouldn't be returning for the day. My sweet young roommate has obviously cracked from stress & exhaustion and lost her damn mind.

A few tactful negotiations - and a few more beers - later, we were able to rid ourselves of the second part of the sectional and rationalize that we were ok with only half a couch.

The price we pay for a place below Houston...

*scorpio*