Is life better with a little sugar?

I am starting to think I am too emotionally fucked up to have an actual relationship. Instead, I have my sights set on meeting another sugar daddy. I found when I went through my trauma (which I will share pieces of in the next few days) a couple of years ago I started to only date older men, that I knew would never amount to anything. I felt safe knowing I had control in the relationships and didn't have to even think about emotional attachment.

I recently read an article in the Post that made me laugh because the words are so true!
http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/strange_bedfellows_trQKzSVgrP0dFTVGyyZhYO



I mean I was dating men so much older that people stared at us as if I was a prostitute, because there could be no other explanation other than payment for me to be hanging out with these guys. The truth was they made things easy and romantic at a time when any stress would have sent me into an emotional tailspin, that I was already going thru under the guise of PTSD. When you start relating your love life to that of Janis Joplin, Tina Turner, and Diana Ross songs, all you want is spoiled rotten fun!

I grew use to having hour long dinners with the best bottles of wine, trips to European cities, gifts of affection, and I controlled all (mostly no) physical activity. The good thing about older men is that they are still polite and will wait forever. I found the key to keeping a real sugar daddy is to never get physical. They will throw the best of the best at you, but once you give them what they want they move on to the next young thing.

Eventually, I felt sad that I was settling and wanted the lust and wild sex again. I also realized older men can be just as fucked up. Take these examples of my dates with different "daddies":

*taking me to dinner with his boss and his bosses 3 Russian prostitutes (this became a normal occurrence)

*offering to fly me to Vegas, then telling me it would have to be on Southwest Airlines, which I found out only flies out of an airport halfway to the Hamptons. I turned him down and shamed him for being cheap (when I am shopping for a sugar daddy I don't go to Target...come on)

*glued to their work/looking at the blackberry so much he almost missed seeing the Vatican entirely

*basically attacking me with sexual advances at a table full of his friends and associates (that was the last time I ever saw him)

*telling me how much he wants to be with me, after admitting that he still sleeps in the same apartment, IN THE SAME BED, as his 23 yr.old Russian ex-girlfriend!!! I told him we would never be together and I don't know any sane women who would be ok with that.

*another, whom I had been on several dates with, told me he was still married right before Christmas. I stormed out leaving him to get wasted on sake and have a threesome with random chics from the restaurant later that night



So I ditched oldies for good for awhile. Now, I just want lavish dinners and Louboutins for dessert! Apparently, I am not alone as there are dating websites and even a Ken doll to represent this growing demographic. So feel free to make fun or scowl at the thought, but don't knock it until you have tried it. This phase will pass once my emotions begin to thaw and my heart warms back up to the idea of true love.

*Aries*