JACKASS

Today was such a beautiful WARM fall day in the city. One of my glorious girlfriends convinced me to spend a carefree day strolling through Central Park.

We happily walked with holiday flavored lattes in hand and decided to relax in the sun on the giant lawn. (I think it is called Sheep's Meadow) The sun was shining and the field was pretty empty except for a few lounging couples and 1 group of guys playing a game of touch football. We purposefully walked to the east, away from the game, and set up camp. We were laughing, catching up, and thoroughly enjoying the warmth and glow of golden leaves on a perfect fall day.

Suddenly, the group of jackasses was upon us. I was not surprised that these guys would show no consideration for the women that they were about to trample in their game of grown up tag. As women in New Yorker, my friend and I had no problem making our feelings known. First, we said "could you please not play right in front of us?" To this, the leader of the jackasses (wearing a football jersey which only made it more clear he was a complete douche) said "well, you are in our goal line that we established at the beginning of the game" and pointed to a backpack that was a few yards away. My friend and I were both stunned at his response. I immediately thought "typical", followed by a burning desire to pick up his backpack and throw it at him. I also thought of tackling him or grabbing the football and punting it in the opposite direction. We both stared at him and then said, "why don't you move the goal then?" (They literally had hundreds of yards to move around in) He ran off, actually tripping (classic) and the play continued. They actually decided to be complete jackasses and play extra close to us, at one point saying they could use us as goal posts, followed by it would be our fault if they fell on us. I could feel the aggression building inside of me as I yelled "this is a fucking public park you can't control the entire space!" My friend echoed "you can clearly move away from us, as we did when we saw your game many yards away." Douche jersey boy shrugged at this and ran to his teammates. My friend and I spent the next couple of hours making fun of them and throwing out comments every time they got close to us. They finally realized we were constantly laughing at them and not giving up any ground, so they moved away.

Just when we thought the coast was clear another group started up a game to flirt with us. They approached us twice. This was the conversation that finally burst their bubble:

Idiot: "So you girls don't want to play football? What you're not athletic? You don't like sports?"

*note: he just walked up and interrupted our private conversation with rapid fire questions

My friend: "No, we are just relaxing..."

Aries: "Trying to enjoy the day"

Idiot: "So what are you, roommates?....Lovers?"

*note: How do you go straight from roommates to lovers?? My friend and I looked at both of them, then each other not really knowing what to say.....

My friend: "Does it matter?"

Aries: "What are you guys? Roommates? Lovers?"

Idiot: "Well we...are.....uh...."

Idiot 2: "Ooookkk, well time to go."

note: I think they actually realized how dumb their question sounded and they walked away.

I decided to take pictures of both groups and post it on the blog under the title JACKASS. Childish, maybe. Gratifying, extremely :-)


The guy in the blue track pants is the one who started the conversation above


This is the notorious goal post marker that belonged to the group of jackasses (picture at top of blog)

I have also included lovely pictures of Central Park!





*Aries*