After learning more about myself than Italy, I have decided to take all of the necessary steps to change for the better. There are a lot of steps, but the easiest is playing nice. I must remind myself to take off my shield (aka sunglasses) whenever I am inside and smile versus pursing my lips in disapproval. I feel naked without my daily bitch face, but I am enjoying this experiment to sort of test my theory that I was my own worst enemy.
Today, I was in search of watermelon and ended up finding one tall drink of water! He must be 6'7? Anyways, I took off my shades while picking out fruit and patiently waited in line when this guy walked in and locked eyes with me (thanks to me actually showing my eyes for once). We looked at each other as if both surprised, maybe because seeing other tall people in Manhattan is such a rarity? Then I broke the glance by shifting my eyes down to my fruit as a nervous reaction. I took a moment to process the fact that he is WAY taller than me and then realized I was attracted to normal again!! He looks like a man I would come across in the south. The only fault on sight would be the kaki pants, but I can change that. I thought about asking him out, but then realized I should make sure I knew what I was getting into. After 2 disappointments in New york and 3 flings in Italy, I need to get serious about what I want and stop fucking around...literally.
I came back to the office and decided Operation Z (first letter of the deli) has now begun. I have a gut feeling I will run into him again, as the only people in this store work in the area. He was clearly in the masses on their lunch break, but definitely a standout in my eyes ;)
TBD.......
*Aries*
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