In the sweltering dog days of August everything about the city begins to turn my stomach. The ever swelling mobs of tourists on holiday, the smell of piss on every block, the craziest of the crazy roaming the warm streets before being forced into winter hibernation, the cab drivers who refuse to use the AC, and the longer days of being trapped in the office knowing the sun is shining until 8pm. My body aches for a break as my mind begins to boil over with the stress of city life. I fear if I don't hop on a plane to a tropical island tomorrow, I may end up having a JetBlue moment. It is not normal for a sane person to have to remind yourself not to body check that ever present person who always seems to be in the way! It is not just me. In the past month, I have seen more angry outbursts from local New Yorkers: cab drivers cursing at everyone, pedestrians running after cabs who cut them off beating the hood like a steel drum, a simple statement to the passerby turning into a face off or fist fight, and it only continues.
The city heat waves have lead to mirages of what I should really be doing with my life. How do I actually spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on a single pair of shoes and have no remorse? How many more assholes will I have to meet before settling down? How many more years will I be able to withstand another New York summer? City life is hard, like the steel colored concrete and glass that surrounds us. Expectations are at their highest while the quality of life is hopefully at the lowest. I never thought a private, rodent free laundry room and bathroom would become such a long lost luxury. I begin to wonder what life will look like for my friends and I in our forties. I already cannot think of one girlfriend who is not numb with medication for symptoms of anxiety, depression, raging PMS, or just a coping mechanism.
We are young, beautiful, and successful in terms of surviving one of the toughest most expensive cities in the world. People gasp in awe when we say we work in fashion (gasp), live in New York (gasp), travel to some of the greatest cities around the world (gasp), and when they see we must be 3/4 of legs (gasp). We are incredibly fortunate, so why can we not escape the feelings of wanting more or life just being inadequate? The city has made us greedy and even more selective in terms of fashion, love, our surroundings, and expectations. We interact with some of the richest people in the world and somehow have to fit into that society and work our lives away just to live above the superficial "poverty" line. In any other city, Scorpio and I would probably be married to amazing men (who think we are goddesses), have a happy family, much less stress, a new house, big yard with a dog, and possibly a healthy lifestyle. Wow, seems so brunette?
Where do you go after New York? How do you leave a city that puts everything you could ever want at your fingertips. Are we really willing to give up the beautiful contents of our closets for the local Gap? I mean there is always ShopBop and Net-A-Porter, but those outfits are not condusive to a local BBQ. What about the salary, the thrill of never knowing what each day will bring, and the game we have learned to play in dating? I mean Scorpio used the term "LTR" recently and I had to ask what that meant. When she said "long term relationship" my only response was "no wonder I had no idea what that stood for." Our goals and emotions fluctuate more than the New York Stock Exchange as women trying to have it all in a city that demands more than you know how to give.
It's another August in New York! Luckily, Fall is just around the corner to cool things off.
*aries*
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