About Me

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Two five-ten blondes fighting against the stereotype to find love, success, and a way to pay the rent. *** We're passionate about our seriously stressful careers in the apex of the luxury fashion world. (No, it's not like the Devil Wears Prada- our Devils only wear custom and pay for their anonymity.) *** We're on the search for the elusive 'great' guy (who must be intimidated because we can't find him anywhere). Being 5'10" and blonde is a double-edged sword. Our stories are fucking ridiculous. *** Fortunately and unfortunately for us, we share the same story as millions of women who have been violated: we are determined to make a difference in the lives of women who have seen too much. *** WELCOME TO OUR WORLD.

Monday, June 27, 2011


WOW, Scorpio and I have reached our 300th post!!!

When we started Knockout Blondes, we were both in similar mental turmoil that was only being exaggerated by the chaos that surrounds you in New York.

I wish Scorpio was here to write something clever as always, but she is gallivanting around Europe with her boyfriend :)

Hours before she boarded her flight, we had a moment to reflect on the difference a year (almost) has made in our lives, well more so Scorpio's. She has turned the corner to begin an exciting new chapter in her life. She has an amazing boyfriend, a promising new career, a healthy savings account, and many amazing happy memories being made in Europe right now! She has found a balance and peace within New York.

For those of you who are wondering how my crisis is coming along...
I did cut 5 inches off of my hair and love it! The brilliant Franco at Culter Soho gave Jennifer A. a run for her money.

I decided against a tattoo for now because the boys in the tattoo shop explained to me that they would have to triple the font size so it didn't blend into nothing as my skin aged and sagged. Really not the best selling point to use when speaking to a woman. From that moment on I could only imagine being 80+ and looking at an illegible tattoo wondering why the hell I ever got it in the first place.

I settled down to catch the usual sunset on the Westside Highway with my Pellegrino bottle full of wine and a nice treat from St. Marks. I was relaxing to my ipod when U2's "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" came on and just hit the moment straight on. I applied Bono's words to romance and I thought of the thing that I still haven't found- The strong man who wraps his arm around my waist with a proud smile and a sincere heart. Who longs to express just how much he loves me. My thoughts were then interrupted by two grown men jedi sword fighting with plastic rods. Back to reality! Stayed tuned I guess :)

We want to thank ALL of our readers and fans!!! We are so happy to share pieces of our lives to help others in any way we can. Your comments truly touch us and we could not be happier as Knockout Blondes.


*Scorpio & Aries*

Sunday, June 26, 2011

No Sleep Till Brooklyn

Scorpio and I got a late start and headed to Rose Bar around midnight. The crowd left much to be desired, so I was happy to run into my Boo from Fashion Week. He took us to a private party at Le Bain. The Miami crowd left even more to be desired, so we ended up calling it a night by 3am.
(sleep=3.5 hours)

It all started with happy hour at The Peninsula rooftop that turned into hours of dancing on the UWS of all places? Just because I was nice and offered to move my purse off of a bar stool I ended up getting hit on by a man who graduated from college when I was 2 years old! Of coarse the cute younger guy just stared at me from across the room. So this nice old man did whatever I wanted, so I went along for the ride. It ended when he was going down on me (not doing a good job) and I decided it was just a bad scene and kicked him out.
(sleep=4 hours? no idea what time he left)

I agreed to go out with another desperate old man after he ambushed me at work. It had been over a year since we had any contact with each other. We met for an innocent drink at The Tribeca Grand. I downed as many glasses of sparkling rose as I could to keep from running away from the bar. He tried to look deep into my eyes, pull my chair into his, and make me believe he is not the most desperate man I have ever met. He admittedly proposed to three other women (who all said no) and he was trying to groom me to be the fourth. With that becoming horribly clear, I told him I had to go. I will not even repeat the pathetic trail of texts I received for two days later.

I was happy to be headed to Rose Bar to see a fashion designer friend spin and catch up with some old favorites. I introduced myself to a friend of a friend, who I happened to lock eyes with across the bar. As luck would have it, he is a professional Italian soccer player! I knew I would have some fun as that combination is music to my ears!! We really hit it off in our broken languages, so much so that he followed me to the bathroom, which at Rose Bar means they are coming in with you. The passion basically exploded and we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. 5am rolled around and we walked to his friend's place before making out on the street for 20 minutes.
(sleep 1.5 hours)

I couldn't blow off a best friend even though I had a massive hangover and no sleep. So I dragged my ass out of bed to walk around Brooklyn ALL day. I really like Greenpoint, but my body was slowly shutting down. I took a car service home and passed out around midnight.
(8 hours)

After two days of flirting with Italian texts, I am ready to see the soccer player again. He asked me for drinks tonight.....so looks like no sleep before Monday.


Friday, June 24, 2011

11 Warning Signs Your Career Has Stalled

(By Charles Purdy, Monster Senior Editor)

Your career can lose power for many reasons: a lack of opportunities, industry changes and plain old boredom are just a few of them.

Are you wondering whether your career has stalled? Here are some of the top warning signs, according to experts:

1. Your role and responsibilities haven't changed in a few years or more.

2. You've bounced from employer to employer without much change in job title or salary.

3. You can't remember the last time you learned something new about your industry or field.

4. People hired after you have been promoted faster than you.

5. You're not invited to important discussions or meetings of the kind you used to attend.

6. You have fewer job duties than you used to.

7. Your performance reviews contain terms like "consistently meets expectations" or "adequate performance."

8. No one at work asks for your help -- or no one in your professional network asks for advice.

9. You dread going to work in the morning.

10. Your manager and coworkers stop communicating with you -- in general, your phone rings less and you get fewer emails.

11. You spend a lot of time complaining about work, or and when you tell stories about work, you are the story's "victim," not its hero. Sound familiar? Never fear -- there are plenty of ways to get your career back in the fast lane. Here are some ideas:

Talk to Your Boss

A first step is to address problems head-on. For instance, if you've been stalled in the same position at the same employer, request a copy of the title hierarchy and job descriptions in your organization, says Debra Yergen, author of the Creating Job Security Resource Guide. “Work with human resources and your boss to find out what steps you need to take to move from where you are to the next step up,” she says.

Alternatively, tell your boss you're ready for new challenges and new assignments. If you've been quietly doing your job and keeping your head down, he may not realize that you're feeling unfulfilled.

Ask for What You Need

Alan G. Bauer, president of recruiter Bauer Consulting Group, says you can ask your manager for tips on what you need to improve. Also, he says you can ask your HR department what's going on with an overdue raise. "If your merit increases are lower than your coworkers', there may be an issue,” he says. “The company budgeted a certain amount for salary increases -- if you aren't getting your share, you need to find out why."

Brad Karsh, founder and president of the career-services firm JobBound, says to look for ways to be more effective, efficient and strategic. “Ask your manager about the possibility of a rotational program to see the inner workings of the company and gain fresh perspective and new ideas," he says.

Take Initiative

Karsh also suggests figuring out what keeps your boss up at night. “Find a way to solve that problem,” he says. “You need to be a key player."

You can also take some classes or work toward a degree, suggests Mary Greenwood, author of How to Interview Like a Pro.

Or consider on-the-job training. "If you value continuous learning, you can volunteer for a project that will require new skills,” says executive coach Elene Cafasso. “Perhaps you can transfer to another area of the business or learn what's needed to back up a coworker."

Rick Dacri, author of Uncomplicating Management, suggests getting actively involved in a professional association. “Get a leadership role, speak before the group or write an article for the newsletter, for instance," he says.

Adjust Your Attitude

Negativity is one of the worst career killers. "If you are spending a great deal of your energy moaning and whining about your circumstances, it's time to try and make a new start before you become so emotionally expensive that the organization feels the need to cut you," says Cy Wakeman, author of Reality-Based Leadership.

Identifying your dissatisfaction and taking steps to resolve it is the first step. The next step may be to update your resume and start looking for a new job. "It may be that hanging on to an unhealthy or unproductive employment relationship is what's holding you back,” Yergen says. “I've witnessed a handful of people this year who have identified their dissatisfaction and set a date to quit -- even without a job waiting -- and found something just before or just after the date of their resignation. Sometimes you just have to take that step."

If your career is stalled, perhaps a new career is the right answer. Start exploring options by reaching out to your professional network, job shadowing or talking to your HR department about an internal transfer.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Last Day

Today marks the end of my fashion career. Tomorrow I'll be on a plane to Italy... and I won't have to wake up at 7 am and deal with rush hour for the next two years. I've paid every bill, saved enough money, bought everything I need, packed both intelligently and fashionably; there are literally no loose ends. It's a great feeling - but I don't feel it yet.

Perhaps it's because I'm still in the office, listening to the same late 2000's pop rock mix and huddling under a sweater. I remember the first time I worked in an office and I was horrified by particular aspects of the corporate culture - the break room jokes, the food talk, the "Happy Monday" greetings, the dress code. It felt a bit like death. Five years later, I engage in the same mindless chatter, and dutifully wear black when told. I even stopped getting manicures because our CEO requires pale polish - I'd rather go nude than wear baby pink. But no more... I can wear whatever I want, wake up whenever I want and go wherever I please. If I feel like I am done with my work at 2pm, I can stop instead of sitting around for four hours surfing the internet and blogging.

Incidentally, I'm done with my work. I just completed my exit interview and got my last check. My boss is out of the country on business......and, I've just decided to skip off early and go see Bad Teacher with my friend David.

Ahh, freedom. I finally feel it now.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

VERSACE + H&M= A Cheap Dream

I was trying to hide my boredom at the office when I stumbled across the following article that made my day!


That's right....Donatella is collaborating with H&M to come out with a very Versace collection available on November 17th. I have always avoided the crazy lines like a plague, but for Donatella I would camp out with the rest of the fashion sickos.

Here is a description:
"The womenswear collection will be dominated by dresses featuring studded leather, silk and colorful print, with accessories including high heels and costume jewellery. The men's collection will focus on sharp tailoring, including 'the perfect tuxedo', as well as belts and jewellery, while for the first time in a designer collaboration at H&M, the collection will include some homeware pieces, including cushions and a bedspread."

Gianni Versace will live on in my heart and my closet.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Lesson

A great city friend once told me her horrifying tale of mixing one too many antidepressants with alcohol which ended with her blacking out on the subway (alone). When she came to, she was strapped to a hospital bed in Queens. I remember scolding her as she laughed about it.

I am following up on Scoripo's post below with my side of the story to hopefully pass the lesson along! I am so grateful that Scorpio was at my side in an empty bar with three strange men. The last thing I remember was feeling like I needed air and I was following Scorpio to the door. The next thing I knew I was in my apartment tucking myself into bed.....then flashing to Scoripo's face as she shook my leg while some man's arms were propping my head up from behind. At first I thought, I must be dreaming because I left the bar and was in bed at my apartment? Too bad the dream was the other way around. I woke up to the reality that my body just collapsed, in the blink of my own eye.

I have never fainted like that and it is terrifying when you realize how much control you just lost. We all hear horror stories of the many ways women are taken advantage of in an altered state, I was just lucky that I was in the right company Sunday night. The fear and confusion stayed with me throughout the night as I had no idea what I may have injured, my head, my back, my brain cells? I woke up to my leg grazing over the rosary I pulled into bed with me as I prayed not to die in my sleep. I know that sounds dramatic, but I think I was also in a paranoid state. I went to the doctor a few hours later just to be sure it was just a combo of dehydration and inhalation. Luckily, everything came back normal and my body forgave me. I walked around the rest of the day with 2 bloody bandaids over my weak veins, but other than that all is well.

(my view from the chair in the doctor's office)

I have learned a valuable lesson about just how quickly you can lose control and become a victim, even to yourself. I can still say I had a crazy fun New York night that I will remember forever. Scorpio and I gained a lot from that night in many ways.


The Secret

Sunday afternoon started out innocently enough - but it soon became the most crazy/random night of our lives so far in New York.

Aries & I met at 6pm for a drink at The Standard Biergarten. We had a few weak mojitos and decided to grab a quick bite at the new Gansevoort restaurant, Carte Blanche. Over chicken meatballs and cucumber martinis, a plan was formed. Maybe it was the balmy summer evening or a sense of a life without consequence, but soon Aries & I had that mischevious sparkle in our eyes. Our very obviously impared waiter regaled us with stories from his first years in New York for over 45 minutes, while I texted my contacts to see if we could find a little herbal refreshment.

The texts came back - they couldn't help us. Aries, being the more charming of the two of us, sweetly asked our waiter for guidance. Unfortunately, he was fresh out. (His tip did a nosedive after that!) Determined, we pressed on.

Aries and I tried six places including The Spotted Pig, The Jane, Employee's Only... we thought the bartenders might be able to help, but no luck. Soon, we had made our way from Meatpacking down to Greenwich. We stopped in a dive bar for a fortifying shot of Seagrams Sweet Tea Vodka (yum!) and continued our quest. While walking down a random street, we spoke loudly of our dashed dreams. No sooner than I had said defeatedly, "Guess I'll have to take a Xanex instead" did our knights in shining armour appear.

"Xanex?" the man said. He was standing on the streetcorner outside of a shop with his friends. We explained our predicament. Their eyes lit up; they could totally help us. Giving each other a glance of solidarity, Aries and I entered the shop. We both felt at ease with these guys and as we passed it around, we got to chatting. One guy told me he was raised by an adventure junkie - he swam with jellyfish at age 7, sharks at 9. His father was always pushing him to be tougher, and as a result he very rarely feels afraid. The owner of the shop and I chatted about what a great feeling it must be to be your own boss. It was a lovely, relaxed evening. I kept thinking it was like that book, The Secret, that I never read. We believed it would happen - and we reached our (albeit minor) goal.

Aries & I decided to go around 11, after all - it was a school night. After being sworn to secrecy, we started to leave. I looked over at Aries and realized that her face had gone totally pale, even her lips were white. As we were walking out, I turned around to talk to her and see if she was ok, and I realized she wasn't responding. Suddenly, she sank to the floor and completely passed out.

My mind went blank. We all hunched down over her, completely silent. I remember thinking to myself that I should wait before I began to panic. I looked up and locked eyes with the owner; we shared a calm stare. Within five seconds, she was awake again. She sat up slowly and I told her not to worry, she was only out for a few seconds. She kept saying that she'd never passed out before - I'd never seen someone pass out before! We both went outside to get some fresh air and gather ourselves. The men were really helpful, bringing us water and making sure she was feeling better. We figured out that it was probably a mix of the insane amount of walking we did, combined with heat, dehydration, and a little too much of a good thing.

When Aries felt stronger, we thanked the guys profusely and I put her in a cab.

At least now, they'll never forget us!


Monday, June 20, 2011

Southern Comfort

Life will only get sweeter now that I know this little treat exists! A chilled shot with lemon is the best drink on a hot summer day.


Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Carlyle, Dah-ling

Saturday afternoon found me poolside at The Carlyle. Jason's family just moved in & they invited me over for lunch & a swim. May I remind you that Jason is still in Italy - so I was hanging out with his parents & sister all day.

It was just what I needed.


Friday, June 17, 2011

The Honk Heard Round the World

Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world to ban women from driving. In this ultraconservative country, women are also required to have express written permission from a male member of their family in order to work outside of the home, travel, or even undergo certain medical procedures.

Friday saw a rare grass-roots protest spurred by a woman brazenly driving around the city for 45 minutes with her husband in the passenger seat. Hillary Clinton has begun talks with Saudi officials to lift the driving ban after several women followed suit and got behind the wheel.

Read more here


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Just Like A Fairytale

I was talking to my mom about how Kate looked like a Disney princess on her wedding day & she sent me this! Love it! (Particularly the princesses!)


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

This Skin

I was recently at a wedding with a few good friends when I said...."This Vodka is like....."
My good friend quickly echoed "Heaven to your soul?"

Before Scorpio and I switched to straight vodka, we had a candid catch up about our lives. We are both anxious for the season of change that is quickly heading our way. In the next 6 months, nothing will be the same in our lives. We are both traveling, moving, and shifting our career goals. The best way to calm our nerves seems to be Kettle One and conversation. My transition is not just physical, but mental. I joke about rapidly approaching an early 30 crisis, but the reality is I am shedding a layer of skin that has been dragged through my entire life. Maybe this is a typical metamorphisis for women in their thirties?

Italy brought childhood issues and personality flaws to the surface, but only because I was searching deep within myself for the past 6 months. I reached the point of being comfortable with whatever I discovered about myself and the next step of my life. Now it is almost like I am preparing to molt a 29 year old layer of myself in preparation for the new cells to breathe. I own all of my experiences because they have shaped the woman that I am, but they have not been easy. I am not going to pull a Paris Hilton and complain about my pampered life, because I am aware of the poverty and suffering that many people endure everyday. In a nutshell I have everything and I am incredibly lucky. It is funny that many people who are only missing one piece of the puzzle can only focus on that piece. I have to have faith that I will make the best decisions for my future before the New Year when I can look forward to life in my new skin.


*BEAUTIFUL artwork by Andrea Galluzzo*

Playboy vs. Playmate

Well...did he really expect a different outcome from the same mistakes? I think most of us have lived through this scenario.


I shared my thoughts with Scorpio last night on my dismal dating status. We both admitted to ourselves that we fell victim to dating many Mr. Wrongs because we were not ready to settle down with Mr. Right. I have made a vow to stop dating men that I know are not right for me and will never be in my future. Even though I am not heartbroken when the expected happens, it still stings and brings my confidence down unnecessarily. Why am I upset when I know the inevitable ending before it even begins?

Scorpio succeeded in breaking the chain by really looking at characteristics of her Mr. Right and not settling for less. Now she can reap the benefits of a quality man who is in it for the long haul.

Don't worry Hef, you won't die of a broken heart like the press suggests, just try using your "other head" if you want someone to settle down with. A Playmate should only be considered as just that for a man in his 80's.



Last night, my fuck buddy told me he loved me

Jason has yet to do so.

Photo of artwork purchased by me on Etsy.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I spent the weekend visiting my mother in Spring Lake, MI. She requested/guilt-tripped me to help her organize her closet. Because the absolute first thing I want to do after weeks of living out of suitcases and sleeping in random places is go to mom's boyfriends home (another random place) and help her sort through her massive pile of clothes. So much better than the Hamptons, yes? But - she basically begged me to come. So I went. Begrudgingly.

Turns out I come by my clotheshorse proclivities honestly. Mom has more than DOUBLE my wardrobe (and mine is bordering on the insane). The good thing about this was, when creating an outfit I could grab just the exact shade of green I needed from her massive collection. We took photos of each outfit so she can recreate them later. I have to say, that part was fun, even if we did work well into the night.

But on my way back to NYC, I had a complete and total meltdown. Sobbing-in-a-public-restroom style. I don't know why. I've cried a few times this weekend. I think I just feel rootless. I've spent the past few weeks camped out in my brother's guest room in Brooklyn Heights surrounded by piles of clothes. Sometimes his girlfriend's family comes to visit and I'm relegated to the couch for a night or two. I move into my new place tonight, but it's a soft move as most of my stuff is still in my West Village apartment. That means, no dishes, no AC unit, no bedframe. Yay.

Jason's business is running seamlessly and I'm so proud of him, but I feel like I really need a hug these days. Kinda hard to do over Skype.

I've noticed instead of hugs, I'm racking up clothes. Honestly, I cannot stop shopping. I leave the office every day on some sartorial excursion. Next obsession? Lace shorts. Guess they call it retail therapy for a reason.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

Damn Those Southern Belles!

I just finished watching this random show, Southern Belles, on Hulu.

It is like Sex in the City and The Kardashians, southern style. The shows drama seems to be that these women are completely freaked out about being 30 and sweating the fact that their lives are not 100% together. Of coarse the main focus is placed on the lack of a husband and kids. I understand this pressure being raised in the south. I think 90% of the girls in my high school class are married with 1.5 kids. Two years ago, I went to a baby shower and this old southern woman grabbed my left hand and shrieked "you're not married!?"

Do I need a serious life plan before turning 30? I think it is hitting me as many of my liberal northern friends are starting to settle down. I see all of these massive diamonds on the fingers of girls five years younger than me. There must be some koolaid in the office that I am not drinking because everyone around me is pregnant. It really makes you feel good when your closest coworker comes up to you and announces that she is 6 months pregnant, followed by "I mean I am almost 30 so it's now or never!" The pressures of an aging female are endless and quite serious. I recently made a mental check list of things to change by next spring: career, apartment, love life, health....(do I need to go any further as that is basically everything)!

My answer is apparently retail therapy. What does almost $500 of Nars products look like... I went in for a blush and walked out with a full makeover and too many wrinkle fighting face products.

Did I mention that I made an appointment to chop off about 5 inches of my hair, had a tattoo consultation, and bought a new smoking device on St. Marks today? Yeh, I don't even think a new pair of Jimmy Choos could solve this coming crisis.


Friday, June 10, 2011


Last night, I met a friend for dinner and dive bars. We made it to B Bar before losing all intrigue with the dive bar scene. I suggested we try our old stomping ground, the Bowery Hotel. We ended up getting our usual free drinks, may I suggest the delicious Regaldo Verde. Over the coarse of a few hours, we spoke to three different hipsters and smoked three Parliaments before we were drunk. I put her in a cab first because she lives in Brooklyn. As I was hailing a cab these three men from the hotel approached me and asked me to get a drink with them. I looked all of them in the eyes before saying, "you want one girl to go with three guys?" Before they could answer, one guy was basically ushering me across the street until we reached a staircase to a basement bar.

They all chimed, "One drink?"
I gave in and ordered a Jack on the rocks, which was the last thing I needed after wine and tequila.

Long story short, I spent the next hour in a deep conversation about marriage and cheating. The man who pushed me to have a drink was married, with two kids, and kept whispering to me that he would be having dinner with me tomorrow if he wasn't. Our conversation started out with the usual small talk about the kids names, etc. Then I asked him if he had ever cheated on his wife, which he readily admitted, followed by 'I am still a good husband". I was curious as to why he considered himself to be such a good husband when he was not faithful. He brought his older friend over who admitted he cheated on his wife of four years before they married so it didn't count. They stood in front of me saying it is part of life that I do not understand because I am not married and even quoted some Bible verse that apparently doesn't state cheating as a sin in marriage?

My argument was that in marriage cheating is black and white because you have vows, responsibilities, commitments. I was trying to tell him that my cheating on a boyfriend would have more areas of grey than him cheating on his wife. He let me in on the male perspective, which seems to separate the act of cheating from their normal lives and is therefore not an issue. He argued that he was a good father and provider and therefore cheating should not reflect on his character or define him as a husband. He had the nerve to tell me I must be jaded because I view cheating on a spouse as a bad thing. So I flipped the script and asked how he would feel if his wife cheated on him. He said that it would not be forgivable. Then I gave him a hypothetical question, if he walked into a bar and some girl came up to him and wanted to give him a blow job in the bathroom, would he do it. He leaned in and said "if that girl was a tall blonde and looked like you I would".

It gets worse... he looked me up and down and said "are you sure this is hypothetical because I do have to go to the bathroom right now (wink)". I looked at him as I do all assholes and said "that would never happen". At that, I said my goodbyes and exited the bar.

If I am jaded it is because every married man I know in New York cheats on their spouse. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, but I would like a husband who has more dignity and respect than these city rats.


Thursday, June 9, 2011


Another perk of the job....free tickets to the dress rehearsal of the new Cirque De Soliel performance, Zarkana, at Radio City Music Hall!


Skinny Bitch

Very thin women make up to $22,000 more than their average-sized counterparts. If you're fat, forget it - heavy women make $9,000 less; very heavy lose $19,000.

Of course, men's paychecks are not correlative to their weight...but we knew that already, didn't we?

- Journal of Applied Psychology


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Operation Z

After learning more about myself than Italy, I have decided to take all of the necessary steps to change for the better. There are a lot of steps, but the easiest is playing nice. I must remind myself to take off my shield (aka sunglasses) whenever I am inside and smile versus pursing my lips in disapproval. I feel naked without my daily bitch face, but I am enjoying this experiment to sort of test my theory that I was my own worst enemy.

Today, I was in search of watermelon and ended up finding one tall drink of water! He must be 6'7? Anyways, I took off my shades while picking out fruit and patiently waited in line when this guy walked in and locked eyes with me (thanks to me actually showing my eyes for once). We looked at each other as if both surprised, maybe because seeing other tall people in Manhattan is such a rarity? Then I broke the glance by shifting my eyes down to my fruit as a nervous reaction. I took a moment to process the fact that he is WAY taller than me and then realized I was attracted to normal again!! He looks like a man I would come across in the south. The only fault on sight would be the kaki pants, but I can change that. I thought about asking him out, but then realized I should make sure I knew what I was getting into. After 2 disappointments in New york and 3 flings in Italy, I need to get serious about what I want and stop fucking around...literally.

I came back to the office and decided Operation Z (first letter of the deli) has now begun. I have a gut feeling I will run into him again, as the only people in this store work in the area. He was clearly in the masses on their lunch break, but definitely a standout in my eyes ;)



End of Season Sales!!

My favorite time of year, when retailers sell off the season with sales of almost 60% in the next week (according to my wholesale sources)!

I just purchased these amazing McQueen booties! They are so sick on!

AND...I bought these summer essentials for 50% off at Nordstrom.com, when they are still full price on Shopbop!

The best sites so far ar Net-A-Porter, Nordstrom, and Neiman Marcus.

If you want a serious discount on designer shoes, look before it's too late!


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Out of Reach

Boooo. Wrong decision! The text flashed on my phone around midnight on Thursday. I was out with my girlfriends, and Johan had just requested my presence at his apartment – immediately. Given the hour and the amount of alcohol we’d both had, I declined. His rather mature response followed.

Friday night, I’m home nursing a mean hangover when I get a series of increasingly dirty texts from my ex – everything from reminiscing about our past to begging me to come over. I decline, to which he says, “I know, I know, I need a cold shower.”

Saturday, Aries and I head over to Anthony’s pool party. (Anthony & I used to be fuck buddies, but now have decided to stay friends.) While he assured me he would control himself over the phone, in person it’s blatantly obvious that he has no intention of doing so. After pulling me in for a very long hug, we all go up to the pool where he proceeds to make various complimentary observations about my body. I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t enjoy the attention, but I also felt fucking guilty.

Sunday evening, I’m out at a local bar with a few girlfriends when I run into Daniel, a guy I very briefly dated. He tells me I look fantastic, invites me to several events, and at one point makes a joke that he’ll only date models who attend Ivy League institutions while pointedly looking at me. I laugh nervously.

All of these men know about Jason – they know how serious we are, they know we’re planning to spend the summer together in Europe, they know he’s currently there. Given my history of not-always-being-totally-faithful-when-out-of-the-country, it kinda feels like the universe is testing me, in a major way. The difference is, with the guys I cheated on in the past, I always knew they were temporary. Jason is real, and (though I hate to admit this over the interwebs) for keeps. Like, forever, if he’ll have me. I just know.

But, he’s also worlds away. The time zone difference is killing us. I’m still at work when he’s going to sleep, so we’re forced to have our intimate conversations within earshot of my intern. It’s only been seven days; I still have more than double that time left to go. I didn’t think it would be this hard. I didn’t think the temptations would be this great. I know these guys are hitting on me because I’m taken & he’s out of town. I get it. Everyone wants what they can’t have… I guess including me. I’ve found myself debating on the subway –Can I get away with it? (yes) Can I live with myself? (no) Why do I want to do this, do I just crave the attention? (yes) Am I afraid Jason is the last person I'll sleep with? (yes...and no)

It’s been torture. So, on Sunday, when Jason and I videochatted, I could barely look in his eyes, I felt so much shame. How could I even be tempted? What is wrong with me?! So I took a chance and told Jason. I told him it had been a rough weekend because I kept bumping into guys I knew, who knew about him, and who would not stop hitting on me. I told him I felt guilty because I liked the attention. I told him I felt lost and I was scared that 18 more days was too many. And then I waited for him to flip out, ask me detailed questions about each guy, and accuse me of being a bad girlfriend.

That never came. Instead he listened and told me that sometimes, when we’re forced to be apart from our significant others, it can unveil weaknesses in ourselves that were previously tended to by the boyfriend. For example, I love the positive attention I get from Jason for both my looks and my personality; I enjoy the validation. Absent that, I’m finding it elsewhere. He told me this was a time for us both to become a little stronger, and he said he had faith in me.

Now, I just need to have faith in myself.


Monday, June 6, 2011

Brighten Your Day

Our new BCBG showrooms...

We're right on trend...

always a fan of our jewelry

love this slouchy sweater and lime green chiffon from Max Azria

citrus brights at Herve Leger

sneak peek: the launch of Herve Leger footwear...

I was so inspired by the beauty around me, I started noticing it everywhere...

perfect summer lunch - spicy shrimp wrap at Pret

flowers & candles make everything nicer

the rather modest front of my silk faux jumpsuit...
(top by Michael Kors, shorts by BCBG)

What can I say? I'm into the naked back!


Sunday, June 5, 2011


Today was one of those easy Sundays...well besides being dragged to the office for 30 minutes.

I bought my nieces some adorable summer dresses from H&M, spent two hours trying on everything in Alexander McQueen, then raced off to Governor's Island to meet my friends at the Veuve Clicquot Polo match.

Check out my friend's PERFECT action shot of Nacho Figueras!

Once the eye candy trotted away, we decided to make the trek back to the West Village and enjoy some pool time at Soho House. We gossiped over guac & chips and bloody marys before calling it an early night.


Gifted in Florence

For all of the readers who love live music please check out this artist. I followed the soulful sounds of a Simon and Garfunkle cover, which lead me to a piazza where Ken Mercer was performing.

He seems to have an interesting story, which has led to a life in Italy. I love being touched by live music and strongly encourage you to check out his website or if you are lucky see him live on the streets of Florence :)



Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Poet

Part of my Italian discovery was that you never know what a moment will bring. I met this man two years ago by chance. I was with another man, who flew me to Rome for Thanksgiving, and the Poet was drunk with a group of his friends. They approached us and I took a few pictures of him and his friends goofing around. I took his email to send the pictures to him and that was it. When I returned to the States I emailed the pictures to him on Facebook and we maybe spoke three more times, at most.

A few days ago, I found myself meeting him for a drink two years later. It was a wonderful surprise that we had a connection of the mind and soul that reached deeper than anyone I have met in 29 years. He is a poet, writer, and romantic at heart. I woke up this morning to a lovely email that ended with the line below:

"....i just hope to know you better and try to swim under your surface again like yesterday..your complexity is very interesting and your eyes told me that behind your pretty aspect there is more than a beautiful woman, there is a wonderful abyss to find, a charming world to discover."


Friday, June 3, 2011

Double Life

I have just returned from 10 days of traveling around Italy and feel as though I lived a double life for 6 months! I am proud of this trip that I booked and funded on my own! I knew it would be an experience to remember, but never guessed I would learn so much about life and myself.

It is difficult to describe, but I was speaking to my acupuncturist about it today and she summed it up well. Americans tend to distract themselves from their lives. They look to the media and marketing teams to make life "better". New Yorkers are especially guilty of doing everything possible to ignore the day to day. We walk, drive, and ride everywhere with ipads, iPhone, and ipods. We try to disconnect to the point of being closed off. Europeans love to live life. I can't tell you how refreshing it was to see people in real conversations, without constantly checking a blackberry and not to hear one thing about the Kardashians, Real Housewives, etc!

After meeting with various locals and tourists, something finally clicked! I had become so disconnected that I was standing in my own way of real love and life. I ignored the flirtation of the hottest man I have ever seen in the Roma Termini and suddenly felt like Eckhart Tolle slapped me in the face :) I decided that I had to make a change and within 48 hours I formed amazing connections with 3 people because I was willing to be present and open in my own life. The bottom line is you just never know what opportunities will present themselves at any given moment, but if you are not paying attention you will miss them all! I know this will not make sense to some people, but to those who do understand it can be a life changing realization.

I know it will take some work, as it is easy to fall back into the New York grind, but I am determined to keep this adaptation of the Italian lifestyle.


Fuck Yes

thank you spin class, for I can now rock this with a vengeance

that is all


(also thanks to Zara)

Summer Friday

my first weekend sans boyfriend...

a day of sun & surf @ Hamptons (or rooftop pool)...

this Zara dress is a must

a bit of shopping with my sartorially gifted Swedish friends

I need a change of perspective...

these pink shorts are a great start


Images at Zara & H&M